Thursday, March 19, 2009

Separated At Birth: Tim Geithner, Hermey The Elf

The both have Obama's ears! Maybe Tim would be a better dentist than Treasury Secretary!

The Island Of Misfit Tax Cheats! Is that where they filmed "Weekend at Charlie's"?

Image from Doug Ross.

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  1. Toymaker and misfit elf Hermey has publicly announced that he is "".

    In a recent interview, Hermey claimed that he's always known that he was different from other elves--with his golden hair, his non-pointy ears, and his scleras which form the "whites" of his eyes.

    "The realization of my 'true elf' came somewhat slowly. At Santa's workshop, I would look at all of the other elves at my work-table, and I realized that I really wanted to their mouths. I became very interested in their...cavities. And I could see myself getting a great deal of satisfaction from...filling...their...cavities..

    "I then realized that I wanted to be, and I confided my feelings to the Chief Elf. I confided in him because I felt that he too might be

    "Well, I was wrong to confide in him because he then announced to all the other elves that I didn't like to 'make toys'. Then he said to me, "You're an elf, and elves make toys!

    Rudolph, red-nosed reindeer and close friend of Hermey, was not surprised by Hermey's recent announcement. In a recent press statement, Rudolph disclosed, "The very first time I met Hermey, he revealed his dentistry to me."

    Rudolph continued, "When he and I first met, Hermey said to me, 'I don't need anybody. I'm independent!' Well, I didn't know what that meant, but it sounded pretty good, so I said, 'Me too! I'm...whatever you said.' Then he said, 'Hey, what do you say we both be independent together?'

    "I still didn't know what that meant, but I said, 'You wouldn't mind my red nose?', and he said, 'Not if you don't mind me being' At the time, I didn't know what that meant either. Although I did think it was a little strange that he paused right before saying 'dentist'.

    "But I decided that I didn't really care what it meant, because almost everyone else in Christmastown--Santa (Claus), my mom and dad (Mr. and Mrs. Donner), and almost all of the other reindeer--would laugh and call me names, and they never let me join in any reindeer games.

    After hearing Rudolph's statement, Hermey quipped, "He said that about me? Oh, he is such a DEER! Get it? Oh, that joke is so old it has antlers! Did I mention that he's the best buck I've ever had?! Please stop me before I drill again!"

    Previous to his announcement, there had been many instances in which questions about Hermey's possible dentistry were raised. In one situation, Hermey and Yukon Cornelius attempted to divert the Abominable Snowmonster of the North from killing and eating Rudolph, Rudolph's parents, and Clarice.

  2. Ha! I never knew you Liberal Wackos had a sense of humor!